Danger signs of ignoring depression

Check out this article I wrote about ignoring the danger signs of depression. http://www.helium.com/items/2347862-dangers-of-ignoring-depression

How my tears fell

Today has been a day for my tears to fall freely.  How all the little things seem to build to create my monster the one that attacks my rational thoughts and mingles in self doubt.  This creature felt stronger than me and by the end of the day he needed releasing, sorry about this, but I hope he has left me for now as I don't know how I would have managed him much longer.
I feel free from this creature of darkness I hope he doesn't want to come back for a visit!

How depression still affects me

I still find the signs that I'm not doing well scary, at the moment sleep would be welcomed but I am getting less of it.  I feel tired, my eyes are tired and yet I cannot sleep, well not enough for me.  I need eight hours of sleep and I am lucky to be getting six.
This lack of sleep does not help my productivity you would think I could get more done but it just gives me more time to think, I've been told I can over think things and then simple things become distorted in my mind and perhaps making a situation in my head even worse than what it actually is.  This doesn't help my mental state and the cycle continues.

I thought the worst was over but is it?

I have been fighting depression for a few years now, in the beginning it was really hard I sometimes wondered how I would get through to the next day, and now two years later it is difficult trying to be in the place where the depression no longer can survive but still I find it lurking, chewing away at the progress I make as if it doesn't want me to let it go.  Maybe I am it's support blanket? Maybe it needs me to survive and if I beat this and it dies will that be so bad?
I've described my depression like the black smoke you get on television, it can be shoved into something really small but when it wants to grow it can and does!
I have been off my medication for a few months now and I've been through some tough times and yes I have managed them and come out again on the other side. Its been tough, its hard on my family I feel guilty about that, parents that don't understand depression and have the old values of "pull yourself together and just get on with life" if only it was that easy!
Some days I feel as good if not better than I have felt in many years but there are still days were I struggle to get out of bed and do some of the basic things associated with modern living.